Top Ten Ways To Annoy People During Chess

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Author: SilverMoon
Posted on 10/27/2006
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As Suprema of Northern Scotland and regular member of my chess club I\'ve found many amusing ways to annoy your opponent.

1

) Take your time, we all know how irritating it is to make simple moves. Even better is when you're in check and there's only one possible move take AGES to "notice" this and keep complaining that you can't see where you can move.

2) Call your pieces alternative names, listed below

Knight - Horsie
Rook - Mr Castle
Bishop - Pointy thing
King - Useless trash
Queen - Feminist
Pawn - Troops

It may not sound like it will annoy people but from experience (particulary the horsie one) it tends to annoy people when used in excess.

3) Set the board up wrong. When you are about to lose (assuming you are losing) suddenly exclaim "the boards set up wrong!" thus voiding the game.

4) Pray to your pieces, talk to them, stroke them. Anything to delay moving.

5) After one of your pieces is taken insist on a ten minute memorial service and force the opponent to apologise to it.

6) Say checkmate after every move, including your opponents.

7) Replace pieces with various items of food.

8) Invent "new" rules and try to use them in game.

9) Make sure that every piece is exactly in the center of the square. Stop and complain if one piece isn't properly centered.

10) Line up the joints on every piece so they are all facing the same way (only applicable if pieces have visible joints)

Thankies for reading my first submission, hope you enjoy it and have many, many fun hours of taunting your opponent.

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