Mail Bag #2

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Author: JonathanOfDrain
Posted on 08/11/2006
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Mail Bag #2 Filled with helpful hints on living.

Y

ola. I have Q 4 U, J-dizzle.
Egh... I think that made me lose braincells.
Anyway...

It's a common question...
People usually ask "Can I get an STD from sitting on a toilet seat?"
and the answer is usually "No. STD's cannot survive on a toilet seat."... of course there are a few exceptions, like crabs. I recently read an article that said that you can get STD's from toilet seats if somebody had sex on the seat.

Now, isn't that a kick in the face? I'm almost positive most public washroomd here in the city have been used for dirty things... being it fucking or fapping. I'm scared.
Do you recommend using public washrooms?

Talking like that will just prevent you from growing more braincells. I'm a scientist, trust me.
I think the only STDs you can get from toilets seats are:
HIV, Crabs and Pubic lice. You can probably get a bad rash too.
This is kind of kick in the face. Most washrooms are used for dirty things, pooping should really be the most dirty thing but it isn't. At my school there is a kid who constantly fapps in the bathroom and people have noticed him do it in class too! Gross. I do recommend using public washrooms. They're there for a reason, ofcourse some people make new reasons. You should just try to touch stuff as little as possible. Use your foot to flush them toilets, wash your hands. When washing your hands first use cold water to wash off most of the germs. Most people say use hot water but this opens pores and germs can get in there, that's why you want to wash most of with cold water THEN use hot water to kill any remaining germs and use some more cold water to close your pores.Don't forget the soap. If you get worried about these germ things then buy a small bottle of hand sanitizer, I trust Purel.
Be as cautious as you can without being paranoid.

I think we should be combining robots and zombies, rather than pie and cake or red-headed germans and asians.. your thoughts?
Here's the thing, our robot technology is poor and would only weaken the zombies. Our best approach is to equip cameras and sensors before we release zombies so we can better study them in their natural habitat.
Pie and Cake go great together though, Boston Cream Pie is the best example of this. It's Massachussetts state Cake. It's a cake actaully.

Maybe it has been asked before, but what is your strange facination with Charlie Sheen's ass? is 'punch' some sort of euphemismfor something else?
This isn't a fascination, I happened to state an observation and it was quoted I then made a joke about this. I don't think punch meant anything other than punch... like with my fist.

I used question marks like you said?
Yes you did.

Hey JoD,
I was wondering who is the better Final Fantasy Character, Cloud Strife or Squall Leonhart?
In the event of the two afforementioned characters having a battle, who would win?
Finally, is it true that you are, in fact, a lich king who controls a vast undead horde?

Hello whoever you are, I'm not too fond of either character but I'd probably say Cloud Strife. He got his own movie and his game was far more successful.
Cloud would probably win, I don't even want to get into detail but let's just say Squall wouldn't win.
This is merely a rumor, there is no evidence behind it. Besides, it's not really horde. It's more of a close knit army of darkness. I think I've said too much.

If blade2k were a spaceship (from say star trek, not a current day space ship but a futuristic one) what would your position on the space ship be?
In your opinion, what is the coolest animal of all time?
Are you a pirate man or a ninja man?
If life was a pokemon game, what would be your role in it? Would you be that annoying npc that always says the same line? Or maybe the wimpiest gym leader? Or the greatest pokemon master of all time?
Why do you like Charlie Sheen's ass so much?
-Rammo

Good questions, here are decent answers
I'd probably be the resource manager or something. I'd like to think I'd be the head of logistics but I don't know what logistics are. I could always run the sick bay. Hey here's something kind of funny, as I'm typing this I have my electric razor (which I don't use) near me and it's in the shape of a phaser. So set your razors to stun.
Humans or Apes
I'm a pirate man. I'm scurvy and play guitAARRRRRR. The ninja ladies always want to get with me though, actaully that's a good thing.
I'd probably be the guy who fought poke'mon. I'd be the ultimate gym leader. I'd be awesome cause I'd change my equipment depending on what I'm gonna battle. You'd get a heart shaped badge from my gym or something.
I don't like Charlie Sheen's ass! I said i saw it once and then someone quoted it. Then it spiralled out of control and into a spirally spiral that lacked control.

Hey Jonman,
Yeah, what's the difference between a wiener, a frankfurter, and a hotdog?
And how could they be used for world domination?

Thanks-Zeph

I'm glad someone asked a question to test my knowledge of food. Hotdogs are types of sausages. Frankfurters are franks that are made in Frankfurt Germany, franks are usually all-beef. Wieners are usaully filled with pork. How could they be used for world domination? Well, kill people and turn them into some sort of hotdog. People that eat people would just go crazy. And you'd have to be a herbivore, unless you like eating people... freak.

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