The Solar System, History of.

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Author: Gary
Posted on 08/02/2004
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I

know that nobody's perfect, and I know that nobody gives a shit in Science lessons at School, but that stuff is important sortof, so to make sure nobody misses out I have summourised all the stuff that can be learned about the Solar System into this small article, enjoy.

<b><u>The History of the The Solar System through the eyes of a 16 year old Gary</u></b>

Round about, lets say, 30 billion years ago a black hole was formed and killed all the planets which where orbiting that paticular star before it turned evil. The gas left over after the black hole went on vacation to some other place in the marble shaped universe formed our star, the man itself, The Sun.

Now, after The Sun was formed it created a gravitational field, much like Bugs Bunny to some Brothel it attracted many amounts of rock, dust, materials such as gold and Iron and other crap which just so happened to float into this gravational field, these pieces of crap floated around The Sun for a couple hundred million years slowly joined together getting larger and larger until eventually they formed plants. These planets then created their own gravitaional pull to the left over rock, in the same way the plantes where formed, Moon's started to form to these planets.

The Planets formed where; Mercury, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto, Uranus and some other ones which arn't really too important. Then some time after that a planet the shape of Mars flew directly into that planet we live on, it would of been a slim chance of survival for either planet, but Superman and Batman came and the Earth survived, and had grown larger, there was also this thing in the sky which i like to call, The Moon. Now back then the Moon was 15 times larger than it is today, which is preatty big, the the thing got scared of something and now moves away I think 2-20 feet away from us a year. So sooner or later every night'l be a solar eclipse.

Now lets scrap all the other planets and consentrate on Earth.

Earth, the one which invented Oxygen and The Mini Cooper. For a long time the Earth was not occupied by Humans, ooooh no, even before the dinosours where playing on their 'Atari's' the Earth was just a red planet, like Mars but previously unmanned, volcanoes where going on everywhere. Why I could talk about the next 10 billion years in fine detail but it's boring and I can't be asked. So, in quick we got water, grass and fish. The fish learned how to walk and the walking fish learned how to talk to other walking fish, then they learned how to fly and the rest of the story writes itself.

Then the Dinosaurs came along, then the Flintstones. Fred and the Dinosaurs lived peavefully for a while, but then the dinosaurs got bored and ate Wilma and Betty thus the humans could not produce and live on. The dino's lived for while, but had a fight with the Plutonians and they wiped each other out, then about 3000 years ago the Egyptions built the Pyramids, then about 2004/5 years ago Mary had sex with an angel and never told. Then Jesus was born, he did some stuff then died, then came back to life only to die again a few years later, after that The Roman Empire was demolished and the Brits ruled the world until Hitler decided to get bitchy about his singular testicle problem and invade Poland. After the war England gave away most of its Empire cause it sucked, and in 1970 England accidently lost a war with America then America ruled the world by invading Mexico and Southern africa. 18 years on, Gary was born. A further 14 years on Blade2k was Born then you all know the rest.

I hope you learned alot from this little article. If not, consult your local scientist and he'll tell you the same as i did but with some fancy words.

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