Quote: (+Mystic) !kick Zeph | (+Zeph) No can do, bitch ...
blade2k » articles & tutorials

jump to:
Articles » Cortex » Rant

Gary Bag #3


Reading Article
Author: Gary
Posted on 08/02/2004
The third Gary-Bag.


Last week i decided to take some pictures of the Blade2k HQ to show to the world. Here they are:


That is the Blade2k HQ, we re-dorectorated yesterday, looks good yes?


That is our receptionist Shithead, he likes to work upsidedown for some reason or another


This is the bathroom inside the House of Blade2k. Caldrien is here wearing his toilet hat.


As i was walking down the corridor i bumped into Stick who showed me my crap-net bill. What a nice fellow :)


First stop is Lyndons room, he still has his captian amazing costume on ... still. also mentionable are the pootars on the walls.


Zack has magic powers that make him and his insruments float. Here he is composing.


Ramza's room, he didnt seem to eager to say hi. More like: "HHHEEEEEELLLPP." he seemed busy so i just left and put a 'dont disturb' sign on his door.


My room, I have a Hull City shirt on the wall, a TV and a football on the floor. COME ON YOU HULL!!!


Losl was busy, but i got a photo taken before he slammed the door on me.


Seph2 was doing a bit of Yoga. I tried to do some but i sorta broke my spine and now I'm in hospital.

Well that was a tour of the Blade2k house, hope you enjoyed it!


Another 101 things to do by Tumble_Weed:

101 things you can do with a pen

1. Use it as a weapon of minimal destruction
2. Cryogenically freeze it
3. Throw it up in the air
4. Catch it in your hand, refer to #3
5. Catch it in your eye, if #4 failed
6. Use it to write nutritional information an apples
7. Use it to spit pieces of soggy paper into peoples hair
8. Steal it from children
9. Use it as a golf tee
10. Deep fry it
11. Chew it
12. Digest it
13. Click it
14. Compete to click it the most (requires multiple players)
15. Use it a silly fake novelty moustache
16. Draw a face on it (requires multiple pens, or pen related objects)
17. Draw a face on another pen of the opposite gender and make them get married (requires another pen and a fair amount of insanity), refer to #16
18. Find it a pen-mate of the same gender to get married to (use this method if #17 doesn’t appeal to the individual pen, also requires a fair amount of insanity)
19. Sniff it
20. Make others sniff it
21. Make other inanimate objects sniff it (or at least pretend)
22. Challenge the brave to a pen duel (requires multiple pens and multiple players, however not multiple brain cells)
23. Gently position it on a hat placed on a camels hump
24. Feed it figs
25. “Accidentally” Drop it and then slowly pick it up in a men’s change room (If you like that sort of stuff)
26. Convert it to Catholicism
27. Take it to a private place in the woods and touch it in places that only pen manufacturers have touched it, refer to #26
28. Take it to the zoo
29. Attempt to feed it to as many animals as possible, refer to #28
30. Throw Candles at it
31. Pretend to smoke it
32. Use it to clean ear wax out of your ear
33. Use it to clean the ink out of your ears
34. Use another pen to remove pen dislodged in ear
35. Take it to Penis land
36. Tell it that the space should be between the ‘n’ and the ‘i’ not the ‘s’ and the ‘l’, refer to #35
37. Attach it to your tie
38. Attach it to someone else’s tie
39. Attach it to someone who’s Thai
40. Try to balance it on your nose (if you have nothing better to do)
41. Grunt at it
42. Stare at it
43. Pump your fists at it
44. Cover it with teddy bears
45. Hide it in a cake and take bets on who will swallow it first
46. Attach it to another pen (requires two pens, or an imaginary pen)
47. Attach it to more pens (requires more pens, or extra imagination)
48. Elect it as the American President
49. Use it as a javelin
50. Disown it
51. Use it to rule the world
52. Use it as a latch on a door
53. Tape it to an aggressive panda
54. Tape it to a calm and mild-mannered panda
55. Use it as an alternative to a tranquilizer dart
56. Use it as a dumbbell (requires another pen, or pen related object of equal weight)
57. Use it to clean the dirt under your nails, and ironically create more
58. Insist that it is the ultimate cure to cancer
59. Use it to juggle (requires three pens, or two if you suck at juggling, or just one if you really suck at juggling)
60. Use it as a makeshift drum stick
61. Use it as a makeshift drum, refer to #61 (go to www.pendrumming.org for more info on pen drumming)
62. Use it as a pointer (No match for laser pointers though)
63. Go on a pen-stabbing spree (Much more fun than using a laser pointer)
64. Put it on the barbecue
65. Cook it on the barbecue, refer to #64
66. Eat it, refer to #65
67. Fish it out of the toilet, refer to #66
68. Rise and repeat commencing at #64
69. Sell it in return for drugs
70. Sell drugs in return for more pens
71. Steal it from an unsuspecting victim
72. Steal it from a suspecting victim
73. Put it in a pencil case with only other blue pens (requires a perfect set of blue pens)
74. Refuse to apologize to Black/other minority pen colour groups
75. Use it to play pen football
76. Create a Black/minority pen colour group pen football league (refer to #75)
77. Send it over the internet
78. Send it through snail mail after discovering internet pen sending was unsuccessful
79. Give it a mobile phone
80. Blame it for prank phone calls to exotic international destinations
81. Make it a star of the next reality TV show (Survivor: The art section of your local newsagent)
82. Sit on it
83. Teach to it speak grammar goodly
84. Call it Satan
85. Worship it, refer to #84
86. Use it to dig a hole out of your jail cell (or padded cell, depending on situation and mental state)
87. Use it to play golf with unwanted peas (requires revolting dinner, remember not to let your mother catch you playing pea-pen golf. Unless she decides to join in.)
88. Play pea-pen golf against Tiger Woods (and his mother), refer to #87
89. Flush it down the toilet
90. Use it to write down the number of a local plumber, refer to #89
91. Grin uncontrollably at it
92. Roll it down a hill
93. Launch it out of a cannon
94. Use it to draw glasses and goatees on pictures of your friends and family
95. Use it to draw glasses and goatees on your friends and family (warning this may be risky, may cause family and friends to disown you)
96. Use it as a walking sticks
97. Use it to build pen sculptures
98. Snap it in two
99. Snap it in three
100. Get someone else to snap it for you if you’re too weak
101. Glue it back together, refer to #98, #99, #100

Q&A

The following 10 question are from Tumble_Weed

Q: If a fish smokes a bong in june. Who will eat him in July?
A: ME. MUHAHAHHAHAA

Q: If a girl says the word Tangerine why will she be swallowed by Sharkman?
A: Tangerines are an insult to Sharkman, its like saying "OY! I WANT TO EAT YOUR SHEEP YOU F*CKED UP SPUNK MONKEY!" to a welshman. Thus making Sharkman angry. They only eat woman though, and I have no idea why.

Q: Who likes sugar water?
A: The sugar faires from Casablanca

Q: Where did Jimmy Hendrix keep his sandwiches?
A: He kept his sandwiches in his legs. Extra freshmensperitation :D

Q: If a Cat is called Cat. Are it's owners called Man and Woman?
A: Can you think of a reson why not? No, niether can I

Q: If someone asks you why the sky is blue, what object would you use to hit them on the head?
A: I'd use my special 'Whytheskyisblue' machine to hit them in the head, which breaks my 'whytheskyisblue' machine rendering it useless as it cannot tell people why the sky is blue ;_;

Q: If you were stranded on a deserted island how many grains of sand would be in your undies?
A: 1,754,874.092586 Although i might be off by point, zero, zero, zero, zero one of a decimal place

Q: Does the word candle make you think of floating tissue boxes. Why/Why not?
A: Nope, and it does not because it told me i shouldnt tell you

Q: Do Microscopes believe in Jesus? Does Jesus believe in Microscopes?
A: Yes and yes. Infact Jesus's real disiples where infact magic microscopes

Q: If a tree falls in the woods and everyone in the world hears it. Is the tree concidered popular?
A: Is my name Gary? NO! Its Gary. HAHAHAHAHA, but infact the answer is yes!

Want to be in the next Gary-Bag?
Send question or whatever you wish to:
GaryB2k@Hotmail.com