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The Creation of News


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Author: Devinfire
Posted on 08/16/2006
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An inside look at what goes into newsposts

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When it comes to blade2k and it's news, a tough and ritualistic process must be adhered to.

The first thing that must be done is to unite the Stone of Knowledge, preventing retarded staffers from posting. Once this task is completed, the stone must be placed in the altar of Blades. (God damn, gotta love cliches.)

Once the stone is placed on the altar, the spirits of all the past staff members appear, and the posting staffer must compete in a battle of wit and strength to be able to complete the ritual.

IF and only IF they can beat the spirits, they are sucked into an alternate dimension once called the WORLD WIDE WEB to gain access to the even more legendary USER CONTROL PANEL. From here, all the glorious manifestations of the staff were crafted, and all the tortures and executions took place. From these hallowed walls, the gateway to newsposting can be found.

And once the staff member passes through the gate, they must fend off the other staffers trying to post their news all the while writing their own. And once the task is done, news is made.

AND THERE WILL BE MUCH REJOICING MOTHERFUCKERS!